


My Candle and Your Flame

by quornchickennugget



Series: YakuLev Week 2016 [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, I know the prompt was hurt/comfort, I love making my children hurt, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Seriously there is no happy ending here, This could also be an alternate ending to yesterday's entry, YakuLev Week, burn - Freeform, but I wrote angst, but it's a standalone too, okay so that's what it is, pure angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 19:41:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7770493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quornchickennugget/pseuds/quornchickennugget
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His heart was a candle, full and compassionate with a clean white wick; his love was a flame, beautiful yet uncontrollable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Candle and Your Flame

**Author's Note:**

> Angsty angst time! This is an alternate ending for yesterday's entry 'Twenty Years From Now' but it can also be read on its own.
> 
> For yakulev week day 3: Burn or Hurt/Comfort

Lev's heart was a candle, full and compassionate with a clean white wick; his love was a flame, the flickering light was beautiful yet uncontrollable.

When Lev first saw  him on the volleyball court, the flame ignited. Lev watched the way  his body moved and arched, lean muscle flexing beneath soft, toned skin. Sometimes Lev would take a peek in the changing rooms, to see the taut features of his body up close.

The candle had been lit. Sure the wick was blackened, but everything was warm.

 

When hecame over to help Lev study: Lev watched the way his eyes moved across the paper, watched the way his lips moved when he talked, listened to the subtle highs and lows of his voice, basked in the calm that surrounded him as he read passages from a book with a soft smile. Lev watched how his cheeks went pink when he handed him a slip with his phone number written in sparky purple gel pen, "should I need you!".

The candle was burning, but at least the room was bright.

 

On one occasion, Lev had gathered the bravery to ask to walk him home. He agreed, only for them to be stopped by a girl and a pretty one at that. She took him away, and he told Lev to go home without him. Lev later found out that he had said no, but it didn't console him one bit. Lev was now fully aware that there were seven billion other candles in the world; and to  _him_ , the one that shone brightest may not have been his.

His candlewax was melting, dripping down the sides; his envy fuelled the flames, and oh how they burned.

 

The team had reached Nationals. It had been their ambition for so long. Lev's ambition.  _His_ ambition. Watching as happy tears rolled down his cheeks. He had even bothered to  _physically touch Lev_! Sure, it had only been a ruffle of hair, but it was something. Sure, he had gone and hugged all the other members of the team, but Lev got something. Sure, he seemed to show more care to them, but Lev... Lev got something. Right?

Even as they celebrated, the flame burned a little bit deeper.

 

They lost at the quarterfinals. Lev would never play a game with him again. It had been his miss that cost the team the final point, and Lev knew that everyone thought it was his fault. Especially _him._ _He_ didn't speak to Lev for days. When it came to the third years' graduation, Lev managed to get him alone for the first time since the game. Lev went to apologise, whereas  _he_ went in for a hug and held him tight. It was the happiest Lev had been for a while.

And for the first time in an eternity, the flame calmed down, just for a little while.

 

After two years, Lev's affections hadn't gone away. Now it was his third year, and he had reached Nationals once again. Everyone was celebrating, including the past team members, including _him_. The team felt empty without him, though. He never called, despite Lev giving him means to. He aided the team's progress on his few free days and they had gotten immeasurably better. Nekoma was well and truly a powerhouse school. But it felt empty. Once the celebrations had ceased, Lev offered to walk him to the train station. It was the least he could do. He looked like he wanted to, but ultimately said no. Crushed, Lev gave him a sad smile and re-gave him his number.  
"Remember to call me this time, okay?"  
Lev's team lost the first match that year.

His candle was hollowing, the walls were collapsing in on themselves, but the flame couldn't be snuffed out now.

 

After Lev finished college, he somehow managed to keep in touch with him even though he lived across the country. They even met up a couple of times. And every time Lev would fall in love just a little more, and his candle would burn just a little more.

Soon enough, his candle was more of a tealight with a wick charred to look like coal.

 

Lev's compassion was leaving him. He didn't stop to look at cats on the street and he fell out of love with volleyball. He fell behind in his work (a boring office job); but he was still okay. He swore to himself that everything was fine.  
Or it was until he was dealt his death-blow.  
 _He_ called him one day. Said he'd found himself a man. Said they were getting married and they'd like for Lev to come along.  


Lev's candle was dying, but the flame had grown to a bonfire.

 

Flowers of all varieties littered the chapel, it was so beautiful and Lev didn't belong. Not with his dark circles, sallow cheeks and dull eyes. Then he saw  _him_. His suit was pristine, and he was as young and fresh as ever. He gave Lev a small smile, and the flames surged higher than ever.  
"Thanks for coming, Lev!" He said, giving him a hug.  
"It's nothing." Lev replied, almost emotionless.  
"It means a lot, you coming here," He continued, "You've always been a good friend, even if you were annoying as hell. I hope you find someone good for you."  
And the last of the colour in Lev's face drained.  
"You idiot." he said, "I already have."

And he walked away, his candle no more than a puddle at his feet. His flame now burning every inch of his body. Choking him. Consuming him. He had thrown everything away, and there was nothing left to do but burn.

* * *

Morisuke watched after him as he left, processing his words.

He really was an idiot, wasn't he?

He settled for second best when he could have taken what he truly wanted.

 

Morisuke's heart was a candle, and regret was a flame. There was no snuffing it out now, there was nothing left to do but burn.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't like how this turned out but it's super rushed so yeah :(
> 
> hmu on Tumblr to see the rest of my entries and to scream about these cats: volleybirb-king.


End file.
